


Today is the greatest day I've ever known

by Bratstar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, POV Castiel, Pining Castiel, Season/Series 11, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:23:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7653706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bratstar/pseuds/Bratstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ANGSTY, no fluffly resolution. Castiel's POV, remembering Dean. Set towards the end of S11 ep23.  Everything is just like in the episode so need to have watched that already. Inspired by Smashing Pumpkins "Today".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Today is the greatest day I've ever known

**Author's Note:**

> Driving into work when Smashing Pumpkins "Today" came on the radio. Seriously this song was MADE for DESTIEL feels. I was inspired to write something, it would not let me be, so this angsty fic was born. Lyrics are included at the bottom of the fic, go listen to it! 
> 
> Not Beta'd.
> 
> I own nothing, I make nothing. It's all for your love, comments and kudos!

Castiel remembers every moment spent with Dean.

Castiel hoarded each precious memory and often brought them out to examine during the long nights when he was alone. He would turn each memory over in his mind, basking in the warmth that flooded his grace that only Dean could cause. Each day with Dean had felt like the greatest day in Castiel’s lengthy existence.

Most precious to Castiel were the moments when Dean treated him as more than angelic help. The touches, glances and words that strengthened the profound bond they shared. The times Dean made him feel. Feel like family. Family was incredibly important to Castiel, but Castiel wanted more. Perhaps, after all was done, Castiel had hoped that life would grant them the time to be more.

There was the time in the crypt when, under Naomi’s power, Castiel had almost killed Dean. Castiel could still hear Dean’s broken voice begging him, saying, “Cas, We’re family. I need you”. As much as Castiel hated to see time and again the pain he had caused Dean, those words spoken with such sincerity were like water to his parched, needy soul.

There was the time when Dean told Castiel, “Don’t ever change”. Dean would never know how much it had meant to him that Dean accepted him as he was. Those words had caused his heart to soar as he dared hope that Dean could grow to love him even though he was an angel who often didn’t understand the simplest of human interactions.

Now Dean’s words from earlier were still ringing in Castiel’s ears, “You’re always there, you know? You’re the best friend, we’ve ever had. You’re our brother Cas. I want you to know that.” Castiel had wanted so badly to turn to Dean and tell him how he truly felt. Castiel had wanted to ask Dean to pull over and then give in to the temptation to press his lips to Dean’s, to wrap him in his broken angel wings and keep him safe forever. But all he could manage was a “Thank you” and the moment had passed.

If only Castiel had been a bit braver.

Even though Castiel was an angel and immune to the effects of heat, or lack thereof. He felt cold to the very core of his being. Dean’s warmth had surrounded Castiel when they had embraced for that one last time and Castiel had said “I could go with you.” What he had meant was, “I love you, I can’t stay without you”. Dean had left however, and Castiel had promised to look after Sam.

So now here Castiel stood, with Sam, looking at the beautiful blue sky. The beauty took his breath away while grief tore his heart in two.

Dean was gone.  
___________  
"Today" by Smashing Pumpkins

Today is the greatest  
Day I’ve ever known  
Can’t live for tomorrow,  
Tomorrow’s much too long  
I’ll burn my eyes out  
Before I get out

I wanted more  
Then life could ever grant me  
Bored by the chore  
Of saving face

Today is the greatest  
Day I have ever known  
Can’t wait for tomorrow  
I might not have that long  
I’ll tear my heart out  
Before I get out

Pink ribbon scars  
That never forget  
I tried so hard  
To cleanse these regrets  
My angel wings  
Were bruised and restrained  
My belly stings

Today is  
Today is  
Today is  
The greatest day

I want to turn you on  
I want to turn you on  
I want to turn you on  
I want to turn you

Today is the greatest  
Today is the greatest day  
Today is the greatest day  
That I have ever known


End file.
